You Know You're a Redneck if...

Your yard has been proposed as a new landfill site. Your kid's birth announcements include the phrase "rug rat." Your pocket knife has ever been referred to as "Exhibit A." Your sister has a "Soldier of Fortune" subscription. Your wife is sister and your daughter You've ever stood in line more than 1 hour to get your picture taken with a freak of nature. Your bank checks feature pictures of dogs fighting. You've ever stabbed someone's hand while reaching for the last pork chop. On Christmas eve, you left Santa a beer and a Slim Jim.