Redneck Medical Terms

* Artery......................The study of paintings.* Benign......................What you be after you be eight.* Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.* Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.* Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.* Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty.* Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.* Colic.......................A sheep dog.* Coma........................A punctuation mark.* D&C.........................Where Washington is.* Dilate......................To live long.* Enema.......................Not a friend.* Fester......................Quicker than someone else.* Fibula......................A small lie.* Genital.....................Non-Jewish person.* G.I.Series..................World Series of military baseball.* Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.* Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.* Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.* Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane.* Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.* Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.* Node........................I knew it.* Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.* Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.* Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.* Post Operative..............A letter carrier.* Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.* Rectum......................Darn near killed him.* Secretion...................Hiding something* Seizure.....................Roman emperor.* Tablet......................A small table.* Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.* Tumor.......................More than one.* Urine.......................Opposite of you're out* Varicose....................Near by