My computer crashed and died today

My computer crashed and died today And I thought, "oh well what the hey" Now I'd have time to clean my house And see if I still had a spouse

It started out with weird frustrations Combined with mild heart palpitations And then my ankles began to swell Withdrawal symptoms from no AOL

Chills ran up and down my spine Oh, God I had to get on-line To greet my buds and check my mail I began to feel helpless and frail

Then I remembered the Good Guy's Store And all those computers by the door I'd go there and when alone With no one looking I'd sign-on

I stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem soundI was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to pound

Then I typed my password, and the computer said, "Goodbye" And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try. This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks If only they had known how bad I need my AOL fix

I ...slowly... typed... my... password... then...I... stood....and...waited The darned thing said , "Goodbye" again and I got real frustrated That's when I shoved the keyboard thru the monitor screen And the last thing I remember is my loud shrieking scream

When I woke I was handcuffed being booked I think I asked the data entry cop, if he'd get me a drink Now I'm sitting in his chair, and I know I can get well If I can just use his computer to sign on AOL.